4 words: hood of his car
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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