also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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