3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
