My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
