I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
