The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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