All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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