this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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