she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
