i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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