ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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