I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
