WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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