Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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