ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
