I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
