Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
