I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
