Sry I called you an 8
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
