I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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