Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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