she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
this is an emotional support booty call
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
