Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
