I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Two words: blizzard sex
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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