office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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