he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
