Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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