I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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