Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
