well I can't set my house on fire every night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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