Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
