you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
