nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
