i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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