I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
