garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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