i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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