she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
