I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
