i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
