I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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