Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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