I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
