I need help removing her.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
