sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it hurts more in the daytime
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
