Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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