actually, I'm a sock model
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
