You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
