Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
so much tequila, so little girl.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
