Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
