for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
