I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
